Opinion
Re-thinking a woman’s meek and quiet spirit

Doris Ochei, PhD
“For a few thousand years, women had no history. Marriage was our calling, and meekness, our virtue. Over the last century, in stuttering succession, we have gained a voice, a vote, a room, a playing field of our own. Decorously or defiantly, we now approach what surely qualifies as the final frontier”.
I stumbled on this terrific quote a few months ago while reading some materials online; and I am sure I must have read this brilliant copy over two dozen times that unforgettable night. This is a living quotation, and it resonated with me immediately for many reasons, but particularly for its timeliness, uniqueness and profundity. Women are inimitable and wonderful creatures, and I think the world knows. That is also why this other awesome quote trended for a considerable number of months on social media: “whatever you give to a woman, she will make greater. If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby…If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal”.
But there is another dimension to this real or imagined power, ingenuity and influence of women. On this journey of discovery, I hasten to add that lively quotes and books will be our guide.
Yes, I may not agree completely with Chinweizu’s masculinist assumptions in his famous book: Anatomy of Female Power, but I still went away after reading that book many years ago, with lessons about the influence, resourcefulness, impedance and power of women. This book: Anatomy of Female Power by Chinweizu, the respected Nigerian poet, critic and writer is undoubtedly, a profound writing that deconstructs patriarchy, opens an average woman’s minds to different perspectives on women’s issues and raises more questions about gender analysis. I must confess that it was one of the books that changed my life. To be fair, it opened up many possibilities in my life, and for this, I remain grateful.
Not unexpectedly, every day, these things I know now, see, hear and read about women, continue to reinforce my belief that the women folk are very critical to development, stability and lasting peace and security in the world. Without women, the world will literally be empty and soulless. I agree that the average woman is meek, and with a quiet spirit, but beyond that meekness and inner beauty are courage, determination, purpose, singlemindedness, love and forbearance. Could we for a moment, ponder on what would happen if these great and key attributes of women are unleashed on the world today? I can assure you that there will be peace, good governance, less conflicts and wars, forgiveness, unity, communality, security and goodness.
So, what is going on? It baffles me how some countries, and even institutions, plan and execute ideas and projects without the much-needed impute from women.
Let me state, and this because I am speaking for myself, that the profound thoughts of James Stephens, the famous Irish poet, novelist, thinker and folklorist on women, sum up all the issues around this write-up. And I think these thoughts deserve the attention of as many women as possible. According to Stephens, “women are wiser than men, because they know less and understand more”. The writer continues: “women are stronger than men—they do not die of wisdom. They are better than men because they do not seek wisdom”. What more can I say? But let us (women) also bear in mind that this does not in anyway, challenge the God-given authority and leadership of our husbands and fathers.
However, I wish to add that I have also been privileged to encounter the writings and thoughts of other liberal-minded men, particularly writers and feminists who are never afraid to speak out on issues of equality, law, democratic principles, human rights, inclusivity and a world of harmony where the two genders, cooperate. Surely, the world will be better with these thoughts.
But can we all imagine for a moment, what would happen to this beautiful world if there were no women? Let me answer by saying that progress without women is not possible.
And I should say, even at the risk of sounding repetitive, that women are the salt of the world. From the way we are raised, groomed and influenced, to the food we eat, the dress we wear, how we live and socialize, women remain critical. That is why the world should stand in defence of women who are breaking down barriers and transforming society with their creativity, can-do spirit, devotion, diligence and courage. To encourage women also means supporting gender equality, enacting friendly laws in the parliament, providing more opportunities for the less privileged, engendering hope and working towards a better society. This shift is urgent and necessary if we want a peaceful and a better world.
For instance, during conflict or war, women bear the weightiest burden of all the tragic consequences of war. From deaths of their husbands, brothers and children on the battlefield to the circle of poverty, violence, diseases, untold atrocities, displacement, hunger and uncertainties. If they had a say on decisions leading to war, I am very sure there will not be any war anywhere because they would have exhausted everything on the conference table. After all, they stand to lose more than men in an event of a major conflict or war.
There is even a strong belief among some individuals and schools of thought that it is more dangerous to be a woman than a soldier in an armed conflict situation. That is why women need a voice and a measure of influence on political, social and economic matters because of the important roles they play in society and in the lives of men. After all, when society faces far-reaching political or economic changes, women provide all the necessary leadership in caregiving, social cohesion and other things in-between that may assist families adjust quickly to changes and new realities. And when women remember that they suffer most in a situation of crisis or social strife, they work, pray and hope for the best.
So, for women, there is clearly more at stake in times of conflict than the other gender. More than the male gender, they bear the brunt of maladministration, poor judgment in high places, insecurity and hastiness in policymaking. I know that a high-value woman is a value-added individual who brings more than enough to the table with her good emotional intelligence, fairness, compassion, inclusivity and sense of justice.
That is why they must be taken seriously by men, and the world. And the world too, must look for a way to make them active participants in leadership and decision-making processes because of their good judgment and deep understanding of life and humanity.
And the meekness and quiet spirit of women are undeniable virtues, and I think that is the point I am trying to make here. If we fail to re-think women, then it is at our peril, and also a serious danger to the coming generation. The truth is that an average woman’s life is essentially about loving, caring, protecting, nurturing and living for others. They are the only ones who go to bed hungry because others must eat first. When I said they are the backbone of families and societies for the purposes of this write-up, I meant every word.
For all these and more, the world should re-examine its pact with women, and I think this is absolutely important. Our mothers and our sisters should be part of a new world order that encourages engagement, equality, inclusion, participation, introspection and involvement at the highest levels of governance.
And to win as a collective, every country and institution should invest in women. They are definitely the world’s biggest weapon in the fight against insecurity, global poverty, social strife, instability, fundamental challenges facing society, lack of access to education, retrogressive cultural practices, mismanagement of state resources, politics of self and more. So, let us support them to save the world.
Dr. Ochei, a Business Development Coach and Gender Advocate, writes from Lagos.
Re-thinking a woman’s meek and quiet spirit
Doris Ochei, PhD
“For a few thousand years, women had no history. Marriage was our calling, and meekness, our virtue. Over the last century, in stuttering succession, we have gained a voice, a vote, a room, a playing field of our own. Decorously or defiantly, we now approach what surely qualifies as the final frontier”.
I stumbled on this terrific quote a few months ago while reading some materials online; and I am sure I must have read this brilliant copy over two dozen times that unforgettable night. This is a living quotation, and it resonated with me immediately for many reasons, but particularly for its timeliness, uniqueness and profundity. Women are inimitable and wonderful creatures, and I think the world knows. That is also why this other awesome quote trended for a considerable number of months on social media: “whatever you give to a woman, she will make greater. If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby…If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal”.
But there is another dimension to this real or imagined power, ingenuity and influence of women. On this journey of discovery, I hasten to add that lively quotes and books will be our guide.
Yes, I may not agree completely with Chinweizu’s masculinist assumptions in his famous book: Anatomy of Female Power, but I still went away after reading that book many years ago, with lessons about the influence, resourcefulness, impedance and power of women. This book: Anatomy of Female Power by Chinweizu, the respected Nigerian poet, critic and writer is undoubtedly, a profound writing that deconstructs patriarchy, opens an average woman’s minds to different perspectives on women’s issues and raises more questions about gender analysis. I must confess that it was one of the books that changed my life. To be fair, it opened up many possibilities in my life, and for this, I remain grateful.
Not unexpectedly, every day, these things I know now, see, hear and read about women, continue to reinforce my belief that the women folk are very critical to development, stability and lasting peace and security in the world. Without women, the world will literally be empty and soulless. I agree that the average woman is meek, and with a quiet spirit, but beyond that meekness and inner beauty are courage, determination, purpose, singlemindedness, love and forbearance. Could we for a moment, ponder on what would happen if these great and key attributes of women are unleashed on the world today? I can assure you that there will be peace, good governance, less conflicts and wars, forgiveness, unity, communality, security and goodness.
So, what is going on? It baffles me how some countries, and even institutions, plan and execute ideas and projects without the much-needed impute from women.
Let me state, and this because I am speaking for myself, that the profound thoughts of James Stephens, the famous Irish poet, novelist, thinker and folklorist on women, sum up all the issues around this write-up. And I think these thoughts deserve the attention of as many women as possible. According to Stephens, “women are wiser than men, because they know less and understand more”. The writer continues: “women are stronger than men—they do not die of wisdom. They are better than men because they do not seek wisdom”. What more can I say? But let us (women) also bear in mind that this does not in anyway, challenge the God-given authority and leadership of our husbands and fathers.
However, I wish to add that I have also been privileged to encounter the writings and thoughts of other liberal-minded men, particularly writers and feminists who are never afraid to speak out on issues of equality, law, democratic principles, human rights, inclusivity and a world of harmony where the two genders, cooperate. Surely, the world will be better with these thoughts.
But can we all imagine for a moment, what would happen to this beautiful world if there were no women? Let me answer by saying that progress without women is not possible.
And I should say, even at the risk of sounding repetitive, that women are the salt of the world. From the way we are raised, groomed and influenced, to the food we eat, the dress we wear, how we live and socialize, women remain critical. That is why the world should stand in defence of women who are breaking down barriers and transforming society with their creativity, can-do spirit, devotion, diligence and courage. To encourage women also means supporting gender equality, enacting friendly laws in the parliament, providing more opportunities for the less privileged, engendering hope and working towards a better society. This shift is urgent and necessary if we want a peaceful and a better world.
For instance, during conflict or war, women bear the weightiest burden of all the tragic consequences of war. From deaths of their husbands, brothers and children on the battlefield to the circle of poverty, violence, diseases, untold atrocities, displacement, hunger and uncertainties. If they had a say on decisions leading to war, I am very sure there will not be any war anywhere because they would have exhausted everything on the conference table. After all, they stand to lose more than men in an event of a major conflict or war.
There is even a strong belief among some individuals and schools of thought that it is more dangerous to be a woman than a soldier in an armed conflict situation. That is why women need a voice and a measure of influence on political, social and economic matters because of the important roles they play in society and in the lives of men. After all, when society faces far-reaching political or economic changes, women provide all the necessary leadership in caregiving, social cohesion and other things in-between that may assist families adjust quickly to changes and new realities. And when women remember that they suffer most in a situation of crisis or social strife, they work, pray and hope for the best.
So, for women, there is clearly more at stake in times of conflict than the other gender. More than the male gender, they bear the brunt of maladministration, poor judgment in high places, insecurity and hastiness in policymaking. I know that a high-value woman is a value-added individual who brings more than enough to the table with her good emotional intelligence, fairness, compassion, inclusivity and sense of justice.
That is why they must be taken seriously by men, and the world. And the world too, must look for a way to make them active participants in leadership and decision-making processes because of their good judgment and deep understanding of life and humanity.
And the meekness and quiet spirit of women are undeniable virtues, and I think that is the point I am trying to make here. If we fail to re-think women, then it is at our peril, and also a serious danger to the coming generation. The truth is that an average woman’s life is essentially about loving, caring, protecting, nurturing and living for others. They are the only ones who go to bed hungry because others must eat first. When I said they are the backbone of families and societies for the purposes of this write-up, I meant every word.
For all these and more, the world should re-examine its pact with women, and I think this is absolutely important. Our mothers and our sisters should be part of a new world order that encourages engagement, equality, inclusion, participation, introspection and involvement at the highest levels of governance.
And to win as a collective, every country and institution should invest in women. They are definitely the world’s biggest weapon in the fight against insecurity, global poverty, social strife, instability, fundamental challenges facing society, lack of access to education, retrogressive cultural practices, mismanagement of state resources, politics of self and more. So, let us support them to save the world.
Dr. Ochei, a Business Development Coach and Gender Advocate, writes from Lagos.