LIFE ISSUES … NOT JUST BECAUSE I AM INVOLVED

All things are possible —Plaque on the table of the richest black man in the world, Aliko Dangote.

That evening, as the sun set lazily, its luxuriant golden rays washing over the bar beach coast over Eko hotel, I sat in stunned silence as my dinner guest told her heart rending story. I had a dinner date with her husband, an advertising executive. My wife was also scheduled to join in. She came ahead of her ever busy husband. While we waited she regaled me with her incredulous story. She came from a large prosperous home in the South/South. An elderly Aunty had more or less adopted her. Unfortunately, the old woman was childless and lavished a great deal of attention on her like her own child. She grew up, went to school and became a high power lawyer and subsequently married. All the while, she maintained her relationship with the old Aunty and took care of her like her own Mother. She lived in Lagos with her husband, while the Aunty ,now quite aged lived at home. Then one day, she got the most shocking news of her life. A family member, a young man who lived in Portharcourt, received a prophesy from his Pastor that the old Aunty was responsible for his inability to be successful in life. In order to resolve the problem once and for all and reclaim his luck which the old Aunty had used, he returned home and macheted the old woman to death.

As she told the story her eyes misted “My pain, Emeka, is that the old woman had treated me like her own daughter. I have no doubt that even as she lay dying, she was certain that I would fight for her and revenge her death, after all, I am really like her only child.

I was shocked. How could that happen? I wondered. What nonsense is “taking some ones luck and stopping him from succeeding? She sobbed silently. “So, why are you not fighting for her? You are a powerful lawyer with powerful connections, not to talk of your husband’s connections?”I asked. “That’s my problem. My families stopped me. Now that fool has gone scot free!”

Well, well, well !!!.

It’s been about thirteen years now since that incident. Since then my eyes have opened to the epidemic plaguing our dysfunctional society. All across our country, a new and insidious malfeascence is plaguing millions of people. The story line is simple. A poorly organised society has rapidly lost its sense of values and so finds it increasingly challenging to find meaningful engagement for millions of her citizens, especially the youths. The situation has been worsened by an educational system that has equally lost value. Today, Nigerian degree certificates have become, in the words of late Uganda                          tyrant, Idi Amin, worth less than toilet paper. Students go to university, refuse to study properly and either sleep or bribe their way to graduation. When they leave school, they honestly expect to get employment.  Joke of jokes! As part of the preparation for this write up, I conducted a focus opinion poll among young graduates on the theme, “what does it take to succeed in life ─ who you know or what you know?.”All of them voted for, “who you know!”

LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL.

My former Pastor of the Christ Embassy Church, Chris Oyakhilome, would describe that as “a lie right from the pit of hell.” But truly, what Oyakhilome feels and says hardly matters. What matters is that millions of people are living        in bondage, all because of a stupid and debilitating mindset; that someone is using their luck and so is responsible for their inability to be successful in life. By success, they mean their inability to be millionaires and drive posh SUV’S. Thus they indulge in what i call, outsourcing of responsibility. It is the fault of everyone else, apart from themselves. What a shame, what a tragedy. Ordinarily, this would have been laughable as many in civilized societies are laughing at it. But believe me, it is a serious matter. Our society is in danger. The youths are adrift. They have the wrong notion about life and harbour widely unrealistic expectations. Many of them are empty with little or no content. Unknown to them, they are like the walking dead, with little or no value to add. Many of them do not believe in the notion of hard work as a pre-requisite for success. As one young man told me recently, “time no dey,!” meaning that time is too short for hard work, just try and hit it at once!

Hit what? Lies! There is nothing like hitting it. Indeed, it is this notion of “hitting it,” “making it” and all other such rubbish terms which denote easy wealth, that has turned our society upside down and upturned the world of our youths. But the universal truth is that easy wealth disappears easily, and in the end only impoverishes.

BY YOUR GRACE, OH LORD….!

I was born many decades ago into a large family of many children. My father now late, was a poorly paid civil servant and my dear mother, a farmer and petty trader, when she was not busy making babies. She must have had about fifteen pregnancies. Twelve lived. Our’s was a poor family in a poor village Umuaroko, of a poor community, Ahiaeke. At the time, nothing was unusual about that. Practically everyone around me was poor, with the possible exception of the Onyenweaku’s, But you know, funny enough, i never felt poor. I think I probably have a genetic disorder that does not recognise poverty or deprivation. I am also unable to feel inferior. I have no complex at all. In the same manner my psychological make-up lacks greed, envy and ambition. These days, when people say that I have powerful and rich friends, I am often puzzled. The truth is that I only see their humanity and not their status. I am hardly excited by wealth. In fact I am more likely to be excited by beauty, as in a woman is “drop dead gorgeous,” and by great writing, than wealth. You know why? Because wealth is cheap, just about any fool can become wealthy, but beauty, intelligence? Now that’s a different one!

So i am writing this column for the millions of people out there, the misguided lot who are lost in the struggle to make meaning out of life’s puzzles. My message is simple and straightforward, there isn’t a great mystery in life. Success is easily attainable for all those who are willing to pay the price. And the price is simple;-hard work. Life is based on a simple transaction, the exchange of values. What do you have to offer in exchange for what you want? What skill do you have, educational or trade? Or are you a beautiful woman? Like this former Ms Nigeria I know who many men were paying huge sums of money in order to date? In which ever category you are, you must offer value in order to get anything back. Thus, those who claim that their luck have been stolen are actually those who have no value to offer, or are too lazy to develop one.

In this series, I intend to examine the issue in a no holds barred question and answer format. Who knows, we may make meaning to one soul out there and that will have been worth all the effort…..

ASK THE PRINCE

So what is your problem? Why are you not rich and successful? What are your challenges? Send your questions via email to [email protected]                 or sms 08036869392 to; ASK THE PRINCE. If you don’t want your identity disclosed, you can ask anonymously, we would do our best to answer you. Until next week, hey, hang in there! And keep hope alive!!