Opinion
Mother’s Day: Celebrating motherhood an Officium Laudis
We gather today to thank God for the gift of our mothers. We gather in our holy cathedrals and various parish churches to celebrate your day, to pray with you and for you.
According to some writers, the worldwide Mother’s Day or Mothering Day started in Philadelphia USA, in 1904 by a lady called Ann Jarvis. She did this in honor of her mother Margaret Jarvis, who she held in great respect, and for whom she refused to marry just to look after her. Ann, a member of the Methodist Church, proposed her ideas to the government which made this a state celebration for a while before it spread to other parts of USA, thence to the England, Ireland and to other parts of Europe before coming to Africa.
It was the Anglican Church that started Mother’s Day celebration in Nigeria in 1978, before the Catholic Church adopted the tradition not long ago.
At the turn of the 19th Century, the Holy Father decided to propose a particular Sunday to honour and encourage women. The feast of the Annunciation was chosen. A decision from the World’s Union of Catholic Woman Organization {W.U.C.W.O} was to use the Sunday before the 25th of March, or after, when this date came up on a weekday. Activities for the celebration cover a full week.
The observance of Mother’s Day in March continues around the feast of the Annunciation but only gifts and favours are given to mothers on that day. The middle of the 20th century saw the World’s Union of Catholic Women Organization taking a new date for the week-long activities.
The Concepts Mother and Motherhood
The word “Mother” is an English noun and stems from Old English moder and Latin mater. Motherhood denotes one who “mothers”. Speaking about motherhood, St. Pope John Paul II in Mulieris Dignitatem {Dignity and Vocation of Women} says among other things that, “motherhood is the result of ‘mutual knowledge’ between a man and woman in the marriage union” Also, reflecting on the word, “Mother”, Francis Cardinal Arinze {Francis Cardinal Arinze, 1990, Looking for Light Series, Book Five, Motherhood and Family Life; The Blessed Virgin Mary, Christian in Christ} observes thus, “The mother is traditionally considered as the wife, the helper of her husband, the mother of many children, the careful minister of home affairs, the educator of the children, and the preserver and transmitter of cultural values.”
The concept of motherhood is in itself a vocation. It is a unique call to true love and care. As such, it presupposes a responsible parenthood of all that challenges parents to take up all their responsibilities in love. The notion of mother’s day celebration is one that clearly challenges mothers to embrace and to discharge all the duties and responsibilities with love and devotion.
Motherhood an Officium Laudis
Motherhood is a vocation. It is a special vocation which God himself made and through which His creation continues. The motherhood vocation, we have to know, stems from matrimony, which the Holy Mother Church through her ministers blesses, sustains and animates. When St. Paul wrote that we should consider our call, this did not exclude motherhood. It is among the vocations about which he [St. Paul] wrote that he who could take “let him take” and urges that each person should be serious with the vocation God has assigned to him or her: I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)–and that the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace. Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife? Only, let everyone lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. {1 Corinthians 7-17}
Indeed, it was not only the special vocation of special consecration like the Religious life and priesthood but also of motherhood {matrimony}. No one can take such honour upon herself save when called; I mean that God’s grace urges it. Owing to its nature, we can equally say that he, who can take, let him take. Leaving your place of birth and going to live all through life with another man elsewhere, where you are no longer two but one demands a lot. This is a miracle of unity, which God worked in the Garden of Eden. This miracle of unity continues till this day and when performed, the woman who latter becomes mother not murderer [as the case may be] is called and addressed by her bridegroom as his “better half”. Half plus half equal to one {1/2+1/2 =1}
The Holy Mother Church equally recognizes and honours this “officium laudis” of motherhood. In most of our Archdiocese/Dioceses today, whoever reaches fifty years of married life is meritoriously honoured with the reception of a medal award, which sometime is accorded with the papal blessing.
Every vocation has a mission and every missionary group has a specific apostolate, which is the offshoot of the spirituality {charisma} of the founder/ress {originator} of the mission. Motherhood as a vocation is not an exception. This vocation is charged with the responsibility of taking care of the children and “the better half”. This is the apostolate of this mission. The spirituality is sealed in the vows, “for better for worse, in sickness and in health etc.” It is when this motherhood is seen as a vocation that mothers can then carry out their responsibilities as entrusted to them by the originator of the vocation. Consequently, we can see vividly motherhood as “oficium laudis.” It is an “officium laudis” because of the vows through which you step into motherhood. Living contrary to these vows make one irresponsible. Then the ‘Ezinne’- good mother title will be seen and treated as they should. It is by so doing that we can respond boldly to our greetings: “Mother of Sorrows! Queen of peace; Through Mary our Mother, we succeed; “Ndi Nne Mama! Ezinne bu Ihe”
Where are the dignities of motherhood of those we wish to honour?
In the first place, is good to establish the fact that our due respect and honour to Mothers is inestimable, and comes from God the creator. Instances from the Bible and Teachings of the Church abound:- “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. {Exodus 20:12}; “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you. {Deuteronomy 5:16}; My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck {Proverbs 6:20-21}; The honor of a father is one’s own honor as well, and the dishonor of a mother is a disgrace to her children. {Sirach- Ecclesiasticus 3:11}; He who honors his father atones for sins, and he who respects his mother stores up riches. He who honors his father will rejoice in his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. He who respects his father will be blessed with a long life, and he who gives comfort to his mother obeys the Lord {Sirach- Ecclesiasticus 3:3-6}; “With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother.”; “Remember that it was of your parents you were born; how can you repay what they have given to you?” {Sirach- Ecclesiasticus 7:27-28}; Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”-which is the first commandment with a promise {Ephesians 6:1-2}
The Catechism of the Catholic Church remind us thus, “Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching…. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.” “A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” {Catechism of the Catholic Church #2216}; The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude. For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother. O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him…. Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord. {Catechism of the Catholic Church #2218}
Furthermore, God places the woman next to the man above all creation. With the man she takes the duty of procreation {Genesis 2, 3}. This same God entrusted her with responsibilities and as well-endowed her with integrity. This integrity of woman is much praised by God himself {ref Sirach- Ecclesiasticus 26} :-The honour and joy of caring for the man and the children God gives her; Her gentleness and patience disposition especial at difficult time; Her God given intuition and prudence and resource management; Her care and protection of life; etc
It is good to have a critical look at how she exhibits these God’s given dignities before we confirm them with titles and wards. For instance to confer on one titles like ‘Ezinne’- Good mother” one should pay much attention. Such a title is ethical and we have to know that “praising someone who is stupid makes as much sense as tying a stone in a catapult”{Proverbs 26: 8} and “praise for a fool is out of place, like snow in summer or rain in harvest time” {Proverbs 26:1}. Since giving the title is a thing of honour, we have to bear in mind that he/she who cannot guide him or herself cannot rule or guide a city, “The ordering of people depends mostly on the chief ruler – the best gives the best” according to Aquinas. ‘Ezinne’- Good Mother titles, as the case may be, make you a head/chief amidst others. Hence, we have to bear in mind always that, “Those who wished to bring order to their states would first regulate their families. Those who wished to regulate their families would first cultivate their personal lives. Those who wished to cultivate their personal lives would first rectify their minds. Those who wished to rectify their minds would first make their wills sincere. Those who wished to make their wills sincere would first extend their knowledge. The extension of knowledge consists in the investigation of things. When things are investigated, knowledge is extended, the will becomes sincere; when the will is sincere, the mind is rectified; when the mind is rectified, personal life is cultivated; when personal life is cultivated, the family will be regulated; when the family is regulated, the state will be in order and when the state is in order, there will be peace throughout the whole world… all must regard cultivation of the personal life as the root or foundation. There is never a case when the root is in disorder and branches are in order. There has never been a case when what is treated with great importance becomes a matter of slight importance or what is treated with slight becomes a matter of great importance” Did not St. Augustine say “ Remove virtue, and what are kingdoms but gangs of criminals on a large scale”
Motherhood is an “officium laudis” and we ought to keep it so. It is then right that those who are able to attain such height, which should be considered as a thing of honour, should make themselves appreciated for their competence, diligence and sense of responsibility and also for those virtues which are exalted by grace.
The Holy Mother Church {Catholic} is a citadel of virtue and as such she is a kind of soap and water with which a dirty linen is washed; if then the church becomes dirty or gets herself drowned with dirty things what will become of her? Our spiritual leaders should pay attention and make the examination and investigations and proper inquires about whoever is being presented with those honours. Although the church is made of saints and sinners, conferring these titles to unworthy persons out of compromise would give impetus to evil behaviours among women [mothers].There is no doubt that we are all struggling for perfection, but some who are more perfect are to be encouraged so as to shun evil all the more. Let our eyes be opened with regards to these honours like, ‘Ezi Nne – Good Mother” etc, lest the Catholic Church becomes a place where villains are canonized and virtue is compromised.
Conclusion: Thank you to all women
Mothers! Each time you celebrate this feast of your hood, I wish you a meritorious joy, the joy of being true mothers. Never become murderers, as that will be an offence to Mary who is your model.
I conclude with these beautiful expressions of Pope St. John Paul II, “Thank you, women who are mothers! You have sheltered human beings yourselves in a unique experience of joy and travail. This experience makes you become God’s own smile upon the newborn child, the one who guides your child’s first steps, who helps it to grow, and who is the anchor as the child makes its way along the journey of life. Thank you, women who are wives! You irrevocably join your future to that of your husbands, in a relationship of mutual giving, at the service of love and life. Thank you, women who are daughters and women who are sisters! Into the heart of the family, and then of all society, you bring the richness of your sensitivity, your intuitiveness, your generosity and fidelity. Thank you, women who work! You are present and active in every area of life – social, economic, cultural, artistic and political. In this way you make an indispensable contribution to the growth of a culture, which unites reason and feeling, to a model of life ever, open to the sense of ‘mystery’, to the establishment of economic and political structures ever more worthy of humanity. Thank you, consecrated women! Following the example of the greatest of women, the Mother of Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Word, you open yourselves with obedience and fidelity to the gift of God’s love. You help the Church and all mankind to experience a “spousal” relationship to God, one which magnificently expresses the fellowship, which God wishes to establish with his creatures. Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight, which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world’s understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.
Mother of Sorrows! Queen of Peace
Through Mary our mother! We succeed
Ndi Nne mama! Ezinne bu ihe
Fr Iwuji is of the Society of Divine Vocations (SDV)
iwujiudo@gmail.com
08156198851